


i will never end up like him

by thefeelsonthebus



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Blow Jobs, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Retelling, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 11:14:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7220110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefeelsonthebus/pseuds/thefeelsonthebus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A retelling of chapter Sixty One in The Dream Thieves, if Kavinsky had been a little more forthright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i will never end up like him

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically a mishmash of shit to make my friend Jess feel better. The first few sentences are more or less taken from The Dream Thieves by Maggie Steifvater so the context is right, so all credit goes to her for that.
> 
> Title from 'Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown' by Fall Out Boy.

_I know what you are,_ Kavinsky had said.

He was looking at him, cocksure smirk slapped right onto his face. “Don’t say Dick Gansey, man. Do not say it. He is never going to be with you. And don’t tell me you don’t swing that way, man. I’m in your head.”

“That’s not what Gansey is to me."

“You didn’t say you didn’t swing that way, though,” Kavinsky said.

Ronan was silent. “No, I didn’t.”

Kavinsky tipped his white sunglasses down, his dark eyes dancing with fire, with bloodthirst, with a need for excitement. And Ronan knew what Kavinsky was going to do a split second before he did it.

He pulled Ronan towards him and their mouths met. Kavinsky tasted like drugs, and beer, and everything that Ronan associated with danger, but he opened his mouth and let Kavinsky’s heat flood into him anyway.

Then he remembered Matthew.

He shoved Kavinsky away so hard that they both almost overbalanced. “Fuck you,” Ronan hissed, straightening up. Kavinsky smirked again. He splayed his hands, palms facing Ronan, almost like an invitation.

“Well?”

Ronan looked up. There was a reason they were here, in Cabeswater. Kavinsky was going to dream something up, dream something big. But right now, dreaming wasn’t on Kavinsky’s mind, Ronan could tell that much. So did he really have a choice?

Ronan strode towards Kavinsky and kissed him, and Kavinsky laughed into his mouth. Everything about it was sloppy, from the way Ronan was haphazardly shoving Kavinsky against a tree, to the messy way their mouths were moving together, to the way Kavinsky was dragging his zip down.

“Get on your knees, Lynch,” he grunted. When Ronan didn’t do anything, he tried to shove Ronan’s head down. “Do it!”

Kavinsky wasn’t like this. Kavinsky wanted danger, yes, but he was always oddly calm about it. He hardly ever lost his temper. Maybe this was Ronan dreaming Kavinsky, and the real Kavinsky was off somewhere in a different forest, conjuring a demon to kill his brother.

But Ronan couldn’t afford to think like that. If that was true, there was no way in hell that he could save Matthew. If Kavinsky was real, if he was in front of him, he could distract him and stop him from dreaming.

Ronan sank to his knees.

Kavinsky pulled his cock out of his jeans. It was already hard. Ronan looked up at him. He would play along with his game, he thought. This was the only reason he was doing it.

Then he chided himself for lying. Why else had he raced alongside Kavinsky for so long? Why did he spend a day dreaming things up with him, if not for that? Sure, he wanted the adrenaline of the cars. The adrenaline of the pills. Everything about Kavinsky was a million miles an hour, and Ronan couldn’t deny that he loved being pulled along at that speed.

“Open your mouth like a good boy,” Kavinsky said. Ronan swallowed, feeling his own dick harden in his jeans, but opened his mouth obediently and let Kavinsky stroke the tip of his dick on his tongue.

Kavinsky made a noise at the back of his throat, and shoved Ronan’s head further in. Ronan groaned as Kavinsky’s cock slid into his mouth, and then Kavinsky was thrusting in and out of Ronan’s mouth, so hard that Ronan was almost choking.

“You like that?” he whispered. “You like my cock in your filthy mouth?”

Ronan moaned again. His dick was fully hard now. He hated himself for submitting like this to Kavinsky, but at the same time he was relishing it.

Kavinsky shoved his head forward again, and Ronan gagged. “Fuck,” Kavinsky hissed, and Ronan wrapped his hand around the shaft of Kavinsky’s dick, working it up and down. Kavinsky groaned louder, which made Ronan’s dick ache even more – fuck, this wasn’t fair, he was going to wake up hard. How could he be expected to save his brother if he was hard?

Then Ronan heard footsteps behind him. He pulled away from Kavinsky for a second and saw a pair of legs sprinting through the trees, Ronan’s name echoing around the forest.

Then Kavinsky grabbed the back of his head again, and dug his nails again. “Don’t fucking stop now.” He slid his dick into Ronan’s mouth again, hard and fast, then laughed. “Fuck, man. Why is your trailer trash friend here?”

Ronan tried to pull away, his cheeks burning, because fuck, Adam was watching this, he had appeared in Ronan’s dream at the worst God-damned moment and was watching Ronan suck Kavinsky off. But Kavinsky didn’t let Ronan pull away. His hands scrabbled for some grip, eventually closing around the back of Ronan’s shirt. It rose up, choking him, and Ronan gagged on Kavinsky’s dick again. Not even a second later, Kavinsky threw his head back and came with a whine down Ronan’s throat.

“Damn, Lynch, you’re good,” he said, shoving Ronan away and zipping his jeans back up. Ronan landed spread-eagled on the floor, Kavinsky’s taste still in his mouth. It tasted a lot more rancid than it did before. “Back to business.”

Ronan couldn’t seem to form words. Adam was stood on the edge of the forest just staring at him, holding a pile of fucking rocks, and Kavinsky was closing his eyes, tilting on the edge of something. Then, above the three of them, a scream shook the leaves of the forest, made the trees above them wilt and flicker in and out of existence. Ronan saw Adam latch onto a tree for support, and Ronan didn’t blame him, because the ground was swimming. Whatever Kavinsky was taking was huge. It was draining the ley line. It was killing Cabeswater.

Kavinsky’s eyes were on fire again. He laughed wildly as a ball of fire exploded into existence from nowhere. But it wasn’t just a fireball – it was a dragon. Through the haze still preventing Ronan from thinking straight, he could just about comprehend that the fire had a face.

He looked at Ronan, and his eyes were suddenly devoid of all fire. All that was left was a cold, dead, blackness. And Ronan thought he knew what Kavinsky sought to do when he woke up.

“I was wrong,” he said, glancing at Adam and then back at Ronan. “It was never Dick, was it?” He looked up at the dragon above them all, rearing and spitting and hungry for death. “It was never you and me, either, I guess.” He gave one last smirk, but it was cruel. “You’ll regret that.”

Then both him and the dragon vanished.

Ronan scrambled to his feet. He was running out of time, and Cabeswater was dying. He needed something from his dream, but the forest couldn’t give it to him. Either that, or they wouldn’t.

“Ronan,” Adam said, unfrozen from the daze Kavinsky had put them all under. “Ronan, did he – I mean, was he –“

“I was sucking his dick of my own accord, if that’s what you’re trying to ask, Parrish,” Ronan snarled. Adam was the last thing he needed now. One more thing to make his concentration wane. He didn’t need Adam right now, he certainly didn’t need Kavinsky, he needed Matthew, and he wasn’t going to be able to get him in time.

Adam was soft, and that just made Ronan angrier. “Ronan…”

“Fuck off!” Ronan snatched his arm away. “Why are you here, what the hell do you -“

He glanced down at the rock in Adam’s hands. Adam had probably forgotten he was holding it, knowing him, but Ronan realised what Adam was doing. _I will be your hands. I will be your eyes._

He was giving strength to Cabeswater.

“Kavinsky’s back at the party,” Ronan said then, changing topic. “He’s got Matthew, he’s using that fire fucker to kill Matthew –“

“ _What?_ ”

“And himself afterwards, I imagine,” Ronan continued, not letting Adam butt in. “And I need something to fight him, but Cabeswater doesn’t have enough energy.”

Adam was still in a daze, so Ronan laid his hand on Adam’s forearm. “Adam,” he said, almost begging now. If Adam didn’t do something, Matthew would die. “ _Please._ ”

Adam snapped out of his daze. He nodded, looked down at the rock in his arms, and disappeared from the dream.

Ronan waited for a moment, until the magic of Cabeswater swelled again. It didn’t trust him, he could see that. It thought he was as bad as Kavinsky. It thought he would mindlessly steal from them, like Kavinsky.

_He would never be like Kavinsky._

The night horror appeared, and Ronan woke up.

**Author's Note:**

> I omitted the part where Ronan has his huge character development thing with Orphan Girl etc at the end of the chapter, because it would literally just be me copying what's said in the book.
> 
> For Jess, my dream partner.


End file.
